Exercises In Concision

Exercises in Concision

EXAMPLE

Wordy: The teacher demonstrated some of the various ways and methods for cutting words from my essay that I had written for class. (22 words)

Concise: The teacher demonstrated methods for cutting words from my essay. (10 words)

Now, try your hand at making these clearer and more concise while still maintaining the original meaning. Keep the original sentence or sentences, and compose your revision underneath each one. Don’t only eliminate word; use more precise terminology when appropriate.

It would help me grade faster if you put your responses in a different color or type of font or italicized them to make them stand apart better. (3 pts each)

1. The politician talked about several of the merits of after-school programs in his speech.

2. Angela believed but could not confirm that her neighbor of several years had been quietly secretly reading her catalogs from her mailbox.

3. Our Web site has made available many of the things you can use for making a decision on the best optometrist.

4. Working as a pupil under someone who develops photos was an experience that really helped me learn a lot.

Combine sentences and cut down on words when possible.

5. The office manager truly preferred all interoffice reports to be prepared on time. He also wanted all letters to be on the most current stationery and for them to be prepared with Times New Roman 12-point font.

6. The supposed crash of a UFO in Roswell, New Mexico, aroused interest in extraterrestrial life. This crash is rumored to have occurred in 1947.

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